yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
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