And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Randomize
