but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
