There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
