I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
So much Jack, so little girl.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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