Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
