She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
