its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
