dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
