Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
He uses pillows to masturbate.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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