no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I will pee on everything he values.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
