its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
