I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
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