2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize
