if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Randomize
