Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
