is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
