whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
