Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
