Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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