Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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