I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
No...this little piggys going to the bar
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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