U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
