I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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