Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
