I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Randomize