Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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