I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Randomize
