Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Never underestimate the power of titties
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