WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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