I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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