yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
