Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
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