Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
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