unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
