I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Randomize
