She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
3pm strippers are depressing
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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