He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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