Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
