I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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