Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
