Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Randomize