i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
