So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
