Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
