Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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