I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
