I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
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