I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
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