For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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