So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize