woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
