I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Randomize
