remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
