Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize