dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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