An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
