Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Randomize
