Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
