oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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