Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Randomize
