I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
two words: eviction party
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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